I was walking into the mall the other day, helping my wife return some items from her last shopping trip, when I noticed a young boy on his father’s shoulders. They were exiting the mall as we were entering but before the door closed behind me I heard the father tell his son to be careful not to hit his head on the sky.

That little remark actually stopped me dead in my tracks. Can you imagine a father telling his son not to hit his head on the sky?

My wife snapped me back to reality and off into the mall we went. Our first stop was Macy’s because my wife wanted a new pair of sneakers. Knowing this would be a long and involved process I made my excuses and left to explore some of the bookstores in the mall. As I walked through the maze of stores and the multitudes of people a young woman came running up to me and asked how I was. I remembered her as being one of my students from years past. She was with some of her friends whom she introduced to me as her new friends from college. I was thrilled to hear she was doing well and that she had plans to go to graduate school in the fall. She told me she wanted to study geology.

It was obvious she was very proud of her accomplishments this far in life and was full of hope for the future and I think it was obvious that I was proud of her too. As we said our goodbyes I reminded her never to forget to hit her head on the sky. I don’t know why I told her that, it just felt right. She gave me a puzzled look then smiled and told me she wouldn’t forget. I continued my walk through the labyrinth of the Fox Run Mall.

When I went into the first bookstore I recognized another of my students behind the counter. I know he recognized me but he seemed almost embarrassed to see me and turned away as if he didn’t want to talk to me. I remembered him as a kid who had always been a good student so I went up to him and asked how he was.

He gave me an awkward smile then blurted out that he was only working in a store temporarily and was going back to school because he had learned how important education was. He laughed when I told him I was going back to school because education was something that never stopped. I told him it was a continuous process that one should learn to love. He smiled and said he understood that now.

I wished him well and went to say goodbye and as I did so I told him not to forget to hit his head on the sky. He got it right away and answered that one day he wanted to see what was above the sky.

I went back to my browsing and after 20 minutes or so decided I had better head back to Macy’s to see how my wife was doing with her sneaker shopping.

As I walked back to Macy’s it was my turn to be approached by an older man who looked familiar. I realized he was the first school principal I ever worked for as a teacher and I hadn’t seen him in more than decade.

An instant flashback brought a smile to my face. If it wasn’t for his guidance in those early days I doubt that I would be a teacher today. Hell, if I were in his position I would have fired me. He asked how I was doing and I told him I was doing well and still teaching. I also told him that I still loved what I did.

He told me he was retired now and enjoying all the free time that he never had while he was an administrator. We talked about how teaching never changes; how the people may change but the quest for knowledge and the need to offer it was always the same.

After a few minutes we excused ourselves and went on our separate ways. For some reason I stopped and called after him: I told my old mentor that I had learned never to be afraid to hit my head on the sky. As funny as it might have seemed it felt right to say it and he smiled back at me and taught me another lesson. He said there was no such thing as the sky so why should I be afraid to hit my head on it?

When I got back to Macy’s my wife had finally purchased the perfect pair of sneakers. At least they would be until it was time for me to return them.

When she had paid for them and we were on our way out of the store she asked why I had such an odd look on my face. All I could think to say was that I loved her and I loved my life with her. She smiled and gave me one of those big hugs that only a wife can give, and then she asked me if I thought the sneakers she had just purchased were a bit too green. I must have still looked a bit vacant because I didn’t answer her right away and she asked me if there was something wrong. I told her no, I was just too busy trying to find the sky.

Jim Fabiano is a teacher and writer living in York, Maine
Email Jim: yorkmarine@yahoo.com

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah is all I hear and read about when it comes to school reform. In fact, over the last quarter of a century the whole concept of school reform has become a major contributor of the blah and now that the blogosphere jumped into the subject I thought it important to add the term, “blah.com”.

Clay Burell is an American high school Humanities teacher, technology coach, and Apple Distinguished Educator who has taught for the last eight years in Asian international schools. He now writes a blog on education for Change.org. For the past couple of days I have read many of his works on education and the necessity to reform it. No offense Mr. Clay but every thing you wrote has been written before some with different titles but all attempting to improve what used to be the best public education system in the world. In fact ever since the early 1980’s when reform programs outnumbered teachers our system of public education has suffered because of these.

You wrote an article entitled, “10 top actions you can take to make a difference in public education.” The title sounds impressive but so did the title of George W. Bush’s program of, “No Child Left Behind”. Whether people realize this or not this un-mandated program did more to harm public education than any of the ‘blahs’ before it.

Your first action would be to get involved in your local school board politics. No kidding Sherlock. If everyone in ever town in America was filled with people who could get involved not only with their local school boards but with their own families education reform would not exist. But socially our families have evolved into the necessity of having both partners of the family have a full time job. I know of many families that work multiple jobs. Hell, I know many families in which the child has to work in order to have the family survive. Your first action should be to get off its high horse and understand people get tired.

Your second action not only wants people to get involved with their school board policies but also get involved in national education policies. I talk with parents of my students every day and they tell me they would love to be more involved. But, the public education of their children has to be controlled by people they elect. They hope these same people will not talk down to them because they are ignorant of the newest of education reforms. All they want is their child to be prepared to succeed in their life better than they are succeeding.

Another article Mr. Clay discusses is entitled,” A cheap baker’s dozen video on education reform.” In this particular article you give the reader multiple videos they can see concerning the lecturer’s concepts of how they believe public education should be administered. I have been through hundreds of these lectures in real time. The first question I ask is how many years have you spent in the public classroom.” Most say little too few but state they are experts because of the years they studied the problem. I usually just smile and wonder to myself if they would want a surgeon who never did the surgery but read the book real well. In other words, blah, blah, blah, and blah.

I clearly understand that I am a dinosaur of education. I have taught for almost three decades and in this time have met remarkable teachers, administrators, and students. I would like to comment on concepts that concern school vouchers, alternative schools, differing diplomas in the school, and even the newest of concepts that allow only our most talented students to graduate after their sophomore year. I still love being a teacher and am most depressed by what the blah blahs are doing to my students. If anyone is interested in reading about my concerns or would like to view my biography please visit my blog at: http://fabiano.magic-city-news.com/

I would like to link my site to yours. Maybe we will agree with many concerns we have about the future of education. Maybe not.

The New Year means different things to different people. Looking down at my waste-line no longer able to see my belt I like to take this time and ponder where my profession is heading. Now that the eight years of Bush policies are ending, education will be an area of change.

Many people still believe the “No child left behind” program was one of Bush’s successes. As we all know he had few but if you are involved in education you clearly understand the NCLB program put massive stress on a profession that was already stressed out. I want to make it clear I am not against accountability or the possibility of helping all children. I am against unfunded mandates and the games many states are playing with standardized tests that are far from what the definition of standardized is. The only victor here is the test makers and their ever changing philosophies of changing the tests and thus making more of a profit.

So where are we heading now that a new administration is taking over our federal government. I don’t believe the NCLB program will be eliminated. The very name of the program makes it difficult to abolish. As to what it will look like is a mystery to all. I believe the federal government will hand over the responsibility to the states. Our economic situation pretty well establishes that fact. I am not saying the states can afford any new programs but they can now say they are mandating their own expenses.

Some states, like New Hampshire and probably others have come up with the concept of having many of our secondary students graduate after their sophomore year. Of course these would only be our more talented and affluent students who with parental help have succeeded in their high school years. The less talented and less prosperous student will be left to finish out their two final years. In other words the juniors and seniors of the state’s high school will be filled with students who were left behind. I teach juniors and seniors with advanced placement chemistry and college level chemistry. Having students go on to post-secondary education without these programs will only necessitate families to provide extra years in college. In other words the states have saved money by transferring this expense to the families of these students.

The studies of music, art, physical education, and foreign language curricula would have to be eliminated if the more advanced students decide to get themselves ready for their post-secondary years. I guess they would have to decide to not get ready for their post-secondary lives.

There are so many programs that will be introduced by people who never taught but wrote wonderful books on education. Throughout my career I have asked seminar facilitators how many years they have taught in the classroom. If the speaker tells me none to few I stop listening.

As a dinosaur of education I promised myself and my students that I will continue to work with all helping them decide what profession they will aspire toward. I will open up their minds to new technologies and philosophies they will confront in their future years. We laugh when I tell them I hate their music, books, entertainment and even social values. After I view the shocked look on their faces I tell them I really just hate their youth. When I am at Shady Acres nursing home attempting to find my ear lobe they will be experiencing things few have imagined.

Many like me will never teach to a test but will teach for our students. As to how many years we dinosaurs have is becoming questionable. But, those of us who have survived will hopefully take a few of the new mammals of education into the tar pit of past failed education policies.

The other day I was in a rather fowl mood driving to school. As you know I am a teacher. For the past few weeks I have been pounded by administration’s obsession with state test scores, advanced placement test scores, and how they look to the rest of their world. I can’t blame them because most media in the state publish these scores in order to give the image of schools in competition to show which one is successful and which one is failing.

What made things worse I was stuck behind a school bus that stopped every hundred or so meters in order to pick up their passengers. Since there was nothing I could do I watched as students left their parents arms in order to enter their traditionally yellow limousine. I actually felt a smile break from my face that had formerly been clenched shut by my grinding teeth. I watched a young mother holding her bathrobe tight in order to protect herself from the early winter winds. I watched her lean down in order to adjust her son or daughter’s coat in order to make sure her offspring would be protected from the cold before he or she entered the bus. I watched as she did not move until the bus closed its doors and still stood there watching the bus leave, hoping to have a final glimpse of what she produced. My imagination went into high gear as I imagined her thoughts of a fully educated son or daughter prepared for their future. As I passed her she still stood against the weather as though she was lost in her fantasy of their futures.

Following the bus I noticed it did not make the left turn to the school. Under normal days I would be happy to be rid of the vehicle in order to get to my school to begin the chores of the day. Something must have clicked in my mind because instead of turning left I continued to follow the bus hoping to observe other stories I had no idea or right to be folded before me.

The bus stopped again in front of an especially delapitated apartment house. In front stood a child who was standing in front of his father. They were completing some sort of morning tradition only known in Asian culture. There arms were in a kind of controlled movement as if they were practicing for some sort of recital. I assumed they did this every day in order to prepare the son for his future. As soon as they finished the boy ran to the bus as his father stood still, not waving his arms, or even smiling. I guess he was dreaming the same dream the young mother had dreamed before him.

The bus stopped multiple times before poor homes and rich homes. Some of the stops were filled with children waiting for the bus to pick them up and take them to school. With these children there were many fathers and mothers making sure their sons and daughters were safe. They did not seem to be talking to each other in fear that the slightest concentration off their offspring would lead to dire results. Again, after the bus left most of the parents of their students waited quietly dreaming of a time when their children would succeed in their lives because of the education they received.

Following the bus to the front of my school I rode around it in order to park at my assigned spot I have been parking for the last 25 years. Passing the bus I noticed the driver look over her shoulder feeling re leaved I was not some sort of molester who followed her throughout her whole route. She smiled and I smiled back in the knowledge she knew exactly who I was.

The first person I met inside the school was my principal. He asked why I was so late. I told him I was following a whole bunch of futures.

The absurdity of tests that mean nothing and the asininity of competition of schools throughout the state melted into nothing. I knew, and have always known what my life was defined by. It was my responsibility to make sure all the dreams of the parents I observed come true.

For the past few months, in fact for the past few decades I have argued with the establishments of education that the problem with today’s public schools are not with the teachers, students, or the parents. I am not going to be very popular with my next comments but if anyone would take the time to see where our public education system started to degrade they would have to look to the year 1987, when the disability act concerning public education came into existence.

Did I say succeed? As soon as our students were split up into homogeneous groups the public education system was destined to fail. I concede the public schools have been separated by competence levels for years. The student who did well in math was put in accelerated math courses while those who were not so good in math were put in remedial classes. This does by no means means the student who is math-illiterate can’t be successful. Before the 1987, these students were put in classes they were both competent and interested in. They would go to many subjective classes like literary or history. Some liked working with their hands so they were placed in tech classes. This system did succeed. All you have to do is look at how well public education did before the 1987 law.

I read a good article on Special Education entitled: Curriculum Based Measurement Assessing Special Children” by Marc R. Shinn. Even the concept of naming children ’special’ because they need some extra help or have differing circumstances in their lives has become a definition to these students they were not meant to succeed. I believe the title of ’special’ is a huge weight on both the confidence of the child and the capacity for them to succeed.

Stanley N. Deno explains how “special education serves its clients by functioning as problem solving component of our public school systems”. I absolutely disagree with this statement because special education in our public schools has created and increased the amount of problems in our public schools. The proof of this statement is simple. All one has to do is go to their public high schools, investigate as to how many students are classified as SPED, special education students, to clearly see how the numbers have exponentially increased.

I remember working for a particular administrator about 20 years ago. He and his school were being overwhelmed by special education laws and systems. At a faculty meeting he stated the best way to handle this massive influx of unfunded mandates and a growing population of special education students was to ‘code’ everyone in the school. This would at least level off the playing field so all schools could succeed.

The 1987, special education programs with all of its good intentions morphed into giants. More and more students were being coded simply because they could not sit still or were disrespectful to the teachers who forgot the concept they have to earn respect before they received it. The numbers of children diagnosed with ADD and ADHD exploded. They even made up one category called EH; emotionally handicapped. This term doesn’t exist in any psychology text.

Classrooms were then forced to ‘mainstream’ these students into all their classes. As teachers we were told we should be able to handle them even though most of us were trained to teach content. Many classes were forced to slow down because the special needs students could not keep up or they were perpetually interrupting the lesson. When these specific students were sent down to the office they were either brought back or sent to special rooms because they were special.

Some students even take advantage of their title. They are given the option of taking a test in the classroom or to be sent to the special ed room where multiples of special ed aides could help them or even take the test for them. Some are told they can’t be like the other non-special students because they don’t have the capacity to do well with the general rules.

Because of this many ‘regular students’ acted up because they were bored with the slow pace. These students were then forced to take tests in order to make them special. The system became self sustaining with no correction in the horizon because how could anyone question helping special needs students. In other words, it started to sound like NCLB, (no child left behind).

I am by no means saying the special education laws protecting our ‘real-special- students should be eliminated. For the past few decades I have watched wonderful committed educators help children who could not have survived in any secondary environment. The problem I have is too many children are being coded into special education because the school and the parents do not want to take responsibility for the child.

Finally because of this system of degrading our children toward their own success private and religious school flourished. You see they do not have to follow the special needs law. They only take in regular education students. As to how one wonders why they do better is like asking Peter Pan why he can fly.

I understand why we have to change our public education system in order for it to compete in their world. But, to ignore the 800 lb. Gorilla sitting in all of our classrooms is nonsense.

I don’t understand why our legislators and bureaucrats of education don’t let the schools alone so they can take care of the education of our nation’s children. It is obvious the regulations and unfunded mandates of the, ‘No Child Left Behind’ program has failed. All its policies did was put pressure on the teachers to teach to a test that means absolutely nothing to the children of our nation.

I, and many educators like me, are confident when the Obama administration takes office this program will go the way of the open classroom. Yet, even before the NCLB program has exhaled its last breath new programs promising to save our public schools have crawled from under the rock of perpetual failure to con our nation’s population into following its programs.

The November 6, 2008, article in ‘Time’ magazine introduced this new absurdity. The article was titled. “Should kids be able to graduate after 10^th grade” The article begins by making the statement, “High school sophomores should be ready for college by age 16.” It is obvious the people involved in this program have never been in a classroom with 16 year olds.

The article goes on to explain that after their new magic bullet is implemented there will be a new battery of tests to guarantee higher competency in core subjects, lower dropout rates and free up millions of education dollars. When they state this new program will free up money they mean the state and local governments will get the savings. The parents of these students who start their post-secondary education after their sophomore year will have to pay for courses in order for their children to be able to start their college careers.

I teach chemistry and sometimes physics. There is absolutely no way any student would be able to survive college chemistry or college physics without having some background in these subjects. The four-year college schedule will be replaced by six-year college schedules that would pretty much leave post-secondary education for those who can afford it and leave most of the other students behind. By the way, mathematics programs would fall to the same fate.

The article goes on to explain that other nations across the world use this system. What the article does not state is that most nations divide their children up into two groups early in their elementary school years. The student’s that show promise or are of the upper class are put in one school whereas most of the others are condemned to a inferior education and a life that will probably be on some assembly line or some other menial position. So much for leaving no child behind. I also wonder who will lead these bureaucracies that determine the fate of our children.

So, here we go into another governmental program that is destined to fail. Why won’t they leave the schools alone in order to improve public education? Why can’t the schools act as individual plants graduating students prepared to compete in post-secondary education? If a school does not do well it will be up to the community and the school to improve its lot. Local control of education does work. It has worked through most of our history. As to why it is not working today is the subject of another rant. Not of a bureaucratic entity interested only in the bottom line.

There is over 25% of students across our nation who do not graduate from high school. In fact, in large metropolitan areas this number inflates to over 50%. This number is absurd and as a nation we have to understand our status in the world is threatened by this statistic. Many are blaming the schools for this tragedy. They state their curricula do not motivate or teach their students to the real world. They do not have real world importance. Others blame the teachers for being indifferent and working toward retirement instead of working for their students. I, and many like me, blame NCLB for making their state tests inconsequential toward the student. Most don’t care about a test that literally has nothing to do with what they want for their future. Many states make passing their state tests part of the requirement for getting a degree. Needless to say more student who can’t or do not want to pass a test simply drop out of school.

So, what do the bureaucrats of our society do to alleviate this problem. They want to create another layer of the NCLB program. In order for schools to become successful schools according to the NCLB law they have to have a drop-out rate of under 20%. Like the test scores this percentage will drop with every year in the hopes that soon there will be a 0% drop out rate. Like NCLB this sounds like a good plan. Anyone in education clearly understands how foolish this new level for improving education is.

Think about it. The NCLB program makes their accountability of the schools more rigorous every year. If a school does not improve they will be put on a list of schools that are failing. I don’t even want to get into how this makes the school and its students feel. It is obvious a failing school with failing faculty and failing students will come to the conclusion they have to fail. Now the so-called brilliant administrators of the NCLB program not only demand the students pass a rigorous test that has nothing to do with the future of the students they now want the school to not allow anyone one of their students to drop out. How does one do this? Do they make the test easier for them to graduate. Do they ignore the test and not make it part of a graduation requirement. The NCL B program has already advised all public schools to teach to their test. Now they want the schools to make sure all students pass and thus graduate.

Are they telling the schools to cheat? Are they telling the schools to demand all students to stay in school even though they don’t want to? Should all the schools produce a new level of special education in order to make sure all students graduate even though they don’t deserve to? Should we dilute the our statistics in order to make the NCLB statistics look better and ignore the basic reason why public education exists?

The NCLB program for public education is a failed policy. It is so much of a failure they try and put more layers on it making it impossible for our schools to make our students more competitive in the technological world. I would ask our new government to leave the schools alone and have them individually determine what they need to have their students achieve success. But, then again, I am a dinosaur who is not ready for the tar pit as of yet.

Every year there seems to be different catch words promoting various programs that promise to save public education. This year shows no difference. ‘Inquiry’ seems to be the top terms with ‘follow the child’ and ‘collaborated learning’ following close behind. I understand these programs are important but because of the ‘No Child Left Behind’ program the language is overwhelmed by the reality that as teachers we teach to the test.

The other day I had a conversation with my curriculum coordinator discussing different ways my students can become interested in engineering. For the past six months I have been working with the University of New Hampshire in order to motivate my students toward the new technology of nano-technology and setting up systems in which these same students can visit the university and work with both professors and students. I told her this system would alleviate the fear they are not smart enough to join these systems.

The administrator agreed programs like this will help the student become an important part of our society. It is common knowledge we need more home-grown engineers because the foreign student who study in our nation used to stay here to work. With today’s global economy many of these foreign students go back to where they were born. Without motivating our students toward engineering there will be a void that will make us weakened in competition with the rest of the world.

But, alas, she ended our conversation by stating I had to stay with curriculums that were written to have our students succeed in the state tests. These same tests do not know what nano-technology or bio-technology is. They are based on old safe standards that the state believes is important if our students are to succeed in their dreams. All I could do was tell her that she, and the state, is eliminating new programs because of the demand to have our students do well on a test. In other words, they are putting teachers who try and stay up with modern technology in a box of teaching to a test.

For the past few months I have written about how NCLB program is hurting the concept of public education. I have written in defense of our schools Because I work with very talented students and teachers every day. Many have told me I am afraid of being accountable for how well my students do. This can’t be farther from the truth. The difference between myself and the national program is I am totally accountable to my students and not to a test. I believe each school should be responsible for how well the students do after they leave the school. There is no chance a state test could evaluate this.

But, since I am part of a public school system and I enjoy the concept of eating I was asked to evaluate a state test on science. This is the second year of a pilot program with this year being the third year of a test that basically means nothing. This test will once again take my students away from their studies in order to equate, according to the state, how well they understand science.

Before I was given the statistics from last year’s test I was told my students did not do well on the physical science part of the test. They showed me numbers like a 4 or a 11 that meant nothing to my administrators and less by me. With the help of my department who are all talented teachers we changed these numbers to percentages. This made the data actually mean something. After completing this task I discovered that my students did well on physical science and had the most difficult time on Earth and Space Science. This made total sense to me because my students have not had this physical science since the 8^th grade. The science test is given to 11^th grade students deep into their second semester.

According to the administrators of the test we should re-direct our curriculum in order to have this material covered during their junior year. This would mean my students would get less chemistry or physics. These courses are important if my students want to succeed in post-secondary education. I asked if the test administrators are asking us to teach to the test and not to what we clearly understand is important to my students. Of course the administrators state we should not teach to the test but we had better teach what the test wants my students to know. If we fail we will be both reprimanded by our community and the federal government. If this isn’t teaching to a test I do not know what is.

So, here we sit trying to figure out what is more important; our students or the test. If you have been following my writing so far I believe you know where I stand.

So, here I sit watching over 13 of my students who would be better off in front of me teaching something instead of watching them suffer through a system of questions that mean absolutely nothing to them. If you haven’t figured out what I am doing from the title of this essay I will attempt to help. I am in the process of making sure the 13 students in front of me concentrate on the English portion of their NCLB mandated state test.

I know all of these students. Most are enrolled in my chemistry courses. I have one in my AP chemistry class. She seems to be doing well on this portion of the test even though she has spent the last hour playing with her right ear lobe. One of my accelerated chemistry students just came up to me to ask if he could listen to his i-pod. I have absolutely no problem with this. But, the teacher who is helping me proctor the test is a stickler for rules and since the school does not allow them I had to say no. Without a doubt if I was here by myself that particular student would be enjoying what he believes is music.

Looking around my room I see a student I do not have in class look up at the ceiling with his mouth wide open. Some might think he is hoping to catch a fly that would satisfy his hunger. I know he has run out of ideas and words to answer this part of the English test. I have been told I am no longer supposed to call this curriculum English. I have been advised to call it literary arts of writing skills. These are the same people that no longer accept shop to represent industrial arts and home economics to represent domestic engineering. As a dinosaur of education I call the subjects what they are.

The one student that asked if he could use his i-pod is now playing with his calculator. I am now doing something I swore I would never do when I started teaching almost three decades ago. I am in the process of boring the hell out of my students who simply want to learn. A basic adage of teaching is one can’t teach unless there is someone in front of them who want to learn. The NCLB’s demand for testing simply overwhelms this basic law.

I see another student stretching as she is looking at the time left I just drew on the board. Being a chemistry student of mine I am used to her enthusiasm toward what I teach. There is no enthusiasm in her eyes today.

More of my students have now finished this part of the test. One student I do not have in class asked if he could go to the bathroom. Since I am not in tune with all the rules and regulations of the school I looked up at my helper-proctor to see if it is OK. She does not look up so I have to make a decision. I let him go.

Looking around the room I see one of my chemistry students look up at the wall even though there is nothing there. They would not dare to do this during my class but then again I have been instructed not to teach. The student that earlier asked to go to the bathroom is now playing with his pencil and acting very nervous. I want to give him something to do but alas, I am not able to do so. One of the students who is not taking my course now has her head on the desk. There is still 30 minutes left and I am not able to intellectually stimulate these students. I am now acting like the student who seems nervous. I think I have him beat.

There are now three students who are still working on their tests. I notice two of my chemistry students working on something together. Normally I would ignore this but the teacher who is proficient at every rule known to mankind is sitting directly behind them. I walk up to the student and observe they are playing a game of hangman. If they were in my class I know they would not do this but they are not. In, fact they are not in any class. There are now two students still working on their test. One of my advanced placement students has his arms crossed and is staring into nothing. I assume he is contemplating nothing more important than his life but he seems angry. I assume he is angry because of what he is asked to do. I hope he is angry because of a loss of time in my class. In this respect I think I am right.

The girl in the corner of my room is still staring at nothing on the wall and two students seem to have fallen asleep. The nervous student now has his hands over his head seemingly attempting to stop himself from exploding. The hangman game is getting more intense with one student chomping at her nails and another leaning back hoping that this time he is forced to do nothing will soon go away. My God, there are fifteen minutes left.

Looking around the room I see everyone has completed this part of their test. I now observe five heads on the desk, six students; sorry make that seven. The hangman game is now boring the heck out of two of my more talented students, and the rest seemed to have put themselves in a trance staring aimlessly at nothing. Nine minutes left…..

We are back! After a five minute bathroom, snack, water, and whatever else they can do, my students are now taking the second part of the English test. Ooops, I meant to say literary arts. I just received a stray student. I do not know who she is or why she was late. The guidance director guided her in and gave her the instructions. She looks totally confused but since I can only read a word they can’t read I have to sit and do nothing. One has to love the rules.

My students are once again working on the second part of their ‘whatever’ test. The student who just came in seems to be working with the nervous student getting up for the third time to blow his nose. On his second voyage he asked me something I did not know. Asking what he said for the third time I told him comparatively well. By the way, he asked me how things were hanging.

Looking toward the back of the room I noticed the student who I wouldn’t let use his i-pod once again playing with his calculator. When I approached the student he assured me he finished the test. I then noticed the student next to him doodling something that had to do with creative drawing. At least that is what I am told to call it. Both students have now combined their desks in the second stage of their hangman game.

One of my students came up to me and said they had completed the wrong section of the test during the first session. He did put his answer to the wrong question in the right part of the answer key that is now the wrong part because he used the wrong question. We both stared at each other blankly. This particular student is one of my better advanced placement kids who can figure out most quantitative work. I am also pretty good with quantum mechanics and the string theory but I have no idea what he just tried to explain to me. I then told him to give me his work at the end of the day and I will give it to guidance who is supposed to guide us through this process.

I now have two students with their head on their desk. The nervous student is now attempting to swallow an empty water bottle. This is the same student who asked me how it was hanging. He is now fixing his hair for the one-hundredth time and he is digging into his school bag and is starting to do some homework. I wonder if this is allowed during the test.

There are now 38 minutes left in the session. Three people are still working on their test. Since many of my chemistry students are with me I am tempted to go over some equations with them. I am tempted to actually do my job by teaching them something that might motivate them to learn more. I dare not because one never knows when the NECAP police will visit. I wonder if there is a NECAP jail they put teachers who would rather teach than proctor. I wonder what the sentence would be. Maybe I would be forced to proctor tests for the rest of my careers. Even worse I may be condemned to take the tests for an eternity.

44 minutes left.

The nervous student is now dancing in his chair.

One of my chemistry students has just made a paper airplane. Not the normal one because his is aerodynamically perfect. I stared at him making it clear he will not launch his engineering product in class. He agrees and I am saddened. I would love to see how well it would fly.

The dancing student is now breathing through his shirt. I wonder if he smells something I don’t smell. There have been no complaints with the class. Maybe his mother washed the shirt in some sort of detergent that smelled like a rose. Maybe his mother never washes his shirts. Another mystery I will never know.

I broke down. I just gave one of my AP students a problem and asked him to solve it before the end of the class. I offered to give him five points on his next test. I now look around the room and see 10 other students attempt to solve the problem. I assume they would rather do anything other than do nothing. Actually the only perfection is nothing. I guess my students and I would rather be imperfect.

21 minutes left.

Everyone is now asking questions about the problem. All of the students in the room are once again interested…motivated…and not bored. I sincerely believe if I gave all of these students an assignment instead of having them do nothing they would all gladly accept it. My proctor aid in the back of the room just noticed the nervous student writing notes. How could I have not seen it? How could I possibly allow this? She now gives me a contemptuous look. I smile.

9 minutes left.

Since everyone has now completed the test I decided to collect all the question pamphlets and answer sheets. I also collect the pencils, most that now have teeth marks in them. This takes up a bit more time.

3 minutes left.

I give up by allowing the students to talk between themselves, walk around the room, and I observe some still working on the equations I earlier gave them. I would like to credit my students for working toward the five extra points. But, some of these students don’t take my class.

1 minute left. All of us in the room are now looking toward the clock waiting for the bell to ring releasing us from the prison of burocratic absurdity. The time passes and no bell rings. I call the office asking why. The person in charge of everything in the office stated she was supposed to ring the bell in another minute. But, then she asked if I wanted it rung now. In unison all 13 of my students, my proctor helper and I told her yes.

Just think. Tomorrow is day two of a three day process.